Just last week I realized how almost all my crushes (with s) and ex were happy with their partners and I thank God for keeping me secured because my reaction was just joy and I am glad that they have finally found the one and glad that it’s not me. Why? It is not because I am bitter or what so but because I came to realize that God is indeed in control of the things that is happening in my life.
He is ending something for us to begin something, He is breaking our hearts and let us lose relationships for us to receive what He is about to give, He is removing everything along the way that will not help and that will hinder us to pursue and follow His good, pleasing, and perfect will.
I will not hide, my heart cried for a little while when this happened I did because my heart cannot contain how happy I am for them.
It is really hard to wait– but as my Mama said “It is harder to be with someone who is not really for us and do not be too desperate for it to come”. The world made me believe that I might be waiting for nothing, “Hey you are getting old and you are too busy with work, if you will not entertain then you might miss out or even lose the one that is for you”. I thought of this deeply and I decided to let that lie go. Ever since I surrendered my life to Christ that was one of so many things that He planted in my heart– that there is THE ONE for me. That one will come and only God knows when. I have been stubborn and searched for that along the way and jump on conclusions like maybe this one or maybe that one with a lot of compatibility and “signs” provided but it was my heart that is making it all up.
The one will come, I can’t wait any longer but by grace, I will.
Michaella (October 15 2018)